How can I learn to be a stricter leader?

I am C/TSgt Maurer. I am in Civil Air Patrol (CAP). Also, I am the first sergeant. That's approximately the 4th highest cadet position in our squadron. I truly do believe i am a good leader; I even was awarded the United States Medal of Good Conduct. Awarded to me by a active US army member. In which he basically said I was a good leader with "impeccable character", and puts the need of others before those of her own, etc, etc. My biggest problem is that I'm too nice. I let things slide, and I'm not strict on them. I'm a door mat to basically anyone I come in contact with, inside and outside of CAP. I really want to be able to be strict enough on my cadets, but still be the kind of person they can come to. (Please don't be rude if this is not the right section, but CAP is the civilian auxiliary of the Air Force. I will join the AF when I come of age so I need to be a better leader now. Plus, I think some responses from good leaders will help.) Thanks and semper vigilance!